January 14, 2005

Ain't It Cool?

One of my favourite sites in the history of the Web is Ain't It Cool News. I guess it's the geek in me, but I've always loved reading the inside scoop, especially on new Sci Fi or other geek-related entertainment.

Harry Knowles, who runs the site, has always been pretty nice to me in the extremely limited contact I've had with him. He forwarded my review of Cabin Fever to writer/director Eli Roth, who responded directly to me. That was pretty cool. Also, there were some conversations we had in regards to the Former Day Job that he was pretty nice about.

On a whim, after writing my journal entry about the Fantastic Four trailer, I wrote a longer review of the trailer and sent it in. And, much to my surprise, he published it. In the grand scheme of things, it's not a huge deal, but I have to admit that I'm kind of tickled pink. So, for any of you who doubted that I was a world-class nerd before, this should cement that coffin shut.

What tickles me even more however is the response I've been getting on their talkback forums. I know you guys like to tease me a little on my half-assed talkback forums here, but that's NOTHING compared to the ass-reaming my trailer review is getting over there.

If you've never experienced this sort of talking back, it goes like this: it tends to be as abusive as humanly possible. Every possible project Hollywood is about to turn out sucks. If it doesn't suck, then the people who SAY it's going to suck are donkey-raping shit-eaters. Even the most lackluster bit of "news" that isn't 110% negative gets accused of being a studio "plant". And then there are the people who race to be the first people to talk back…as indicated by the "FIRST U BITCHES!" in the subject line. On the flip side, someone will always respond by saying that in Project X, Character A "has a beer and cheets on Character B". As you can tell, it's a regular Mensa meeting. These guys are so negative that Kevin Smith's "Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back" was actually loosely based on AICN and the assorted Talkbackers.

But you should READ some of the nasty things they're saying about Dear Old Naked. I don't know whether to laugh or curl up in the fetal position and weep. Actually, that's not true…I'm ALWAYS weeping in the fetal position…it's nothing new.

First, The Founder agrees to disagree. Hey, no problem, buddy. Go nuts.

From: The Founder
Subject: I'm not surprised by all the nagativity here on this site, but i saw the clips on MTV, and it looked fine to me.
Comment: Harry has been against this movie from the star, and i don't expect it to change period. this film will be bashed to no end, so it wouldn't matter how good the trailer was. I'll be seeing, and the FX looks good to me, I don't knowwhat this guy is talking about.

And simongarth2001 is pretty fair in his assessment as well.

From: simongarth2001
Subject: I don't agree.
Comment: Nope....what I saw was just fine. I disagree with ya on almost all points except Doom being the 5th astronaught. That part sucks...but what can ya do? Other than that...I can't wait to see the full trailer. Nuff said.

Meanwhile, spider-ham is finally getting the gist of what the Internet is all about:

From: spider-ham
Subject: I think you guys sometimes just want to bitch
Comment: So far what I've seen, the movie looks like its going to be pretty good.

Now, apparently I was silly enough to poke fun at George Bush and the non-existent WMDs in Iraq. IamJacksUserID sets me straight. By the way, gimptooth is going to be my new nickname in bed…:

From: IAmJack'sUserID
Subject: Now it's the fucking dumbass news poster dragging politics into this movie site. A big 'FUCK YOU' for that, gimptooth!
Comment: Go eat your own shit and die, gaspumper!

Meanwhile, Orionsangels has been able to solve the mystery that the US Government, the UN, and Scooby-Fucking-Doo have been unable to solve. Bravo, Miss Marple!:

From: Orionsangels
Subject: The WMDs were moved to Syria prior to the war.
Comment: putz

And yes…it was bound to happen. Despite the fact that I was overwhelmingly negative, I've STILL been accused of being a studio shill. Unless he's being sarcastic…and if he is, stop it! That's my job!:

From: Dolmes
Subject: Plant!

Apparently, BurlIvesLeftNut was in my 7th grade class…otherwise, how would he know?

From: BurlIvesLeftNut
Subject: NERD
Comment: Holy christ, this reviewer is a nerd. He is nerdier than his own description of himself.

Kent Allard was witty enough to literally make me laugh out loud with his interpretation:

From: Kent Allard
Subject: The other four became...fantasic
Comment: Why do I imagine the "Queer Eye" music coming in on the soundtrack at this point?

But it's not all bad…theBigE gives me some love:

From: theBigE
Subject: Viktor Yushchenko ...
Comment: "But Viktor Yushchenko looks like a more convincing Thing post-dioxin." That there is some good writing! Great analogy/comparison! Why can't Harry write at your level?

And Spacesheik thinks I'm harsh…wow…he should read my Van Helsing review:

From: Spacesheik
Subject: First suckas!
Comment: "But Viktor Yushchenko looks like a more convincing Thing post-dioxin" -- man thats harsh!

Are you guys going to take this lying down? TALK BACK already! Just click the link below.

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