June 11, 2004

Does Anyone Want Some Rice-A-Roni?

Ah, folks, let me tell you…there are times when it is GOOD to be The Naked Critic. And I'm not just talking about Happy Hour, smartass.

First, a wee bit of background here…One of the things I do for Day Job is reviewing video games. It's fun, but also incredibly time-consuming…especially if the game sucks.

Several months ago, I reviewed a game called "Backyard Wrestling" from Eidos. It wasn't the best game ever, but it was also good, anarchic fun. Kind of a guilty pleasure, if nothing else.

One of the best parts of the game was that you could "unlock" videos, which consist of excepts from actual Backyard Wrestling videos. Now, if you're not familiar with Backyard Wrestling, it's exactly what it sounds like…stupid white kids beating the crap out of each other in their backyards and videotaping it. They use a lot of props, such as barbed-wire clubs, street signs, chairs, etc. They also, for reasons I don't understand, like to whack each other with fluorescent light-bulbs a lot. If it sounds stupid…it is. But oddly enough, it's very, VERY entertaining, in a "Jackass" kind of way.

Well earlier this week, my man Denny from Eidos emailed me and told me that they were releasing Backyard Wrestling 2. They're having a huge event to promote it in San Francisco, and would we like to cover the event for our show? And…here's the kicker…they're picking up the tab to get us down there.

Keep in mind, we're in Toronto, they're in San Francisco. That's pretty damn generous. So, of course, I said yes immediately.

Now, that's cool enough, but adding to the fun is the fact that there will be a number of "celebrity" guests there. Among them…

Insane Clown Posse. They actually appear in the game, and own their own wrestling tour or something like that. I wouldn't say that I'm a fan or anything, but from all accounts they're fun dudes.

Andrew WK. Again, not exactly a fan, but we've interviewed him at Day Job before and he's apparently a really, super-nice guy.

But here's the biggie…TERA PATRICK.

Apparently, Adult Film Star Tera is a character in the game as well, so she's going to be on hand…along with a "bunch" of other "Vivid" girls (Vivid, if you're not a filthy pervert, is a premier Adult Film studio.

So, this is what it boils down to…I'm being flown down to San Francisco next week, in order to hang out and party with a couple of rock stars and a BUNCH OF PORN STARS.

If you read Buceta's journal at all, you KNOW that he loves the models. And every time he hangs out with them, he always ends his entries with "Paul Buceta Rules."

But, as yet, he has NEVER hung out with porn stars in San Francisco. Especially in an environment where there will be a lot of Rock and Roll and an open bar.

So I say, SCREW Paul Buceta…The Naked Critic rules!!! Isn't that right, Buceta? THE NAKED CRITIC RULES.

Yeah, you'd BETTER look ashamed. And NOT just because I'm taller than you.

Full details on the trip next week.

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