May 17, 2004

A Kid With A New Toy

It's official. I've got a digital camera.

It's not a GREAT digital camera...actually, from what I can tell, it's not very good. But what the hell.

Actually, I shouldn't complain, seeing as it's not actually mine. It's Paul Buceta's, and it's a loaner so I can get some decent journal pictures taken for a change. Thanks, Paul!

And, well, so far, so good.

There's a problem though.

See, when someone - usually a guy - gets a new toy like this, there is something that they have to struggle with. This is a conundrum that has confounded men since the dawn of technology, and it's not going away any time soon.

The question that we wind up asking ourselves is the following:

"How long can I have this thing in my posession before I just wind up using it to take a picture of my wiener?"

This is not the first time I've struggled with this particular moral dilemma. After all, I lasted about 1 hour with my webcam before using it for wiener-photography. I don't want to speak for all men, but I have a feeling that this is pretty much universal.

After all, why would you WANT a digital camera, if not to take pictures of your wiener? It's why they were INVENTED. And by the way ladies, if any man tells you that they have some form of digital image-taking hardware, and they HAVEN'T used it to take a picture of their wiener, they're a fucking liar. There, I said it.

So, the stuggle is this...it's 11pm. I've had this thing for roughly 12 hours, and I have YET to take a picture of my wiener with it. I was at work through a lot of it, so it wasn't really possible...but it was tempting.

Let's see how long I can actually go.

UPDATE: Okay, it's midnight, and I caved. Sue me. I took a picture of my wiener. Deal with it.

UPDATE: No, Jody, you can NOT see it. It's a personal picture.

UPDATE: What is WITH you people? You call yourself The Naked Critic, mention that you've taken a picture of your wiener, and all of a sudden everyone wants to SEE IT? You're all SICK...SICK I tell you. It's one thing to take the picture, but another to want to SEE it.

UPDATE: Fine...it's about 2am, and I'm caving. The picture of my wiener is HERE. If you don't want to see it, don't click.

You're all a bunch of perverts.