April 25, 2004

Still A Mystery...

Who's the strangest person you work with?

I bring this up because recently, a guy left his position at Day Job. Now, we have a very nice, sweet, generous girl there, who I'll call Tania. Sweet, sweet girl. She'd do a a favor for anyone, and smile doing it.

She's also, I believe, completely bat-shit crazy.

Well, this guy who's leaving was joking with me, and he said "You know, the one thing I'll miss around here is lunch time with Tania."

See, Tania, while sweet, is loud. VERY loud. She also has a laugh that sounds like Elmer Fudd being riddled with machine-gun fire.

"Shhhh...be vewy, vewy quiet...I'm hunting CWITICS!"

And, to top it off, she will very often blurt things out without thinking about what she's saying. A lot like me, now that I come to think of it.

So I tell the guy who's leaving a fun little Tania anecdote. But it troubles me. See, it happened over a year ago, and I'm STILL confused and troubled by it. It just doesn't make any FUCKING SENSE.

My friend Butcher and I were enjoying a quiet meal, when in walks Tania. She sits down, takes out her lunch, and begins to eat. Conversation continues. We're talking about female singer-songwriters. Tori Amos comes up. I say "Yeah, I really like Tori Amos..."

What's not to like?

Out of the fucking BLUE, Tania SCREECHES out, "Oh yeah? YOU only like TORI AMOS because she was RAPED!!!"

Butcher and I look at each other, with sheer incomprehension. Tania then EXPLODES into window-rattling laughter. There was nothing left for Butcher and I to do but back away slowly and leave.

10 minutes later, she was STILL LAUGHING.

Now, I ask you...I IMPLORE you...explain it to me. WHAT THE FUCK was that supposed to mean???? It's been a year, and I still can't figure it out.

By the way, I work in a looney-bin. In case you couldn't tell.