The Naked Critic

March 03, 2004

Sometimes, They're Just Asking For It...

I get a lot of crap sent to me. True, I ASK for a lot of the crap. But every once in a while I get some unsolicited crap.

Yesterday, I received this dvd. Frank Peretti's Hangman's Curse. No, I've never heard of Frank Peretti either, but that's not the point. Now, I'm never one to judge a book by its cover, but I've got to tell you, everything about this screams either "cheap" "direct-to-video" or "Canadian Feature Film".

But what caught my attention was the press release that came with the DVD. Allow me to quote the following:

"Rated PG-13, Hangman's Curse forges into new territory in the teen thriller genre boasting no foul language, no excessive violence, sex or nudity, offering a values-friendly alternative for teens and families who enjoy scary movies but have more conservative tastes."

Wow.

What immediately went through my mind was Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog from Late Nite With Conan O'Brien. There's a fantastic segment where Triumph visits the costumed geeks in line for the premiere of Attack Of The Clones. After poking fun at them for a few minutes, the nerds begin acting out scenes from The Phantom Menace. Triumph then looks right at the camera and says "All right. Now they're ASKING to be pooped on!"

That's exactly what I felt when I read this press release.

All right. Now you're just ASKING to be pooped on.

Watch for my review of Hangman's Curse at the end of this month.

POSTSCRIPT: Well, as it turns out, it's not Canadian. It's all-American. And it's not direct-to-video, either. According to the movie's IMDB listing, it grossed a whopping $168,000 during it's theatrical release...opening on an astonishing 18 screens. It sort of qualifies as "Cheap" though, but the budget was still $2,000,000 dollars. For those of you that feel that math is hard, that's a pretty tidy loss. Man, I can't wait to feast my eyes on this one.