Saw
Starring: Cary Elwes, Leigh Whannell
Written by: Leigh Whannell, James Wan
Directed by: James Wan
Rating: 3 (out of 5)
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First of all, if I have to see another fucking pun about this movie along the lines of "See Saw!" I'm going to burn this goddamn Internet to the ground. There. I said it. (Sometimes, a little tough love is in order.)
Since that's out of the way, I can get on to the business at hand, which is "Saw". It's a nasty little piece of work…and I mean nasty in both a good and bad way. It's one of those movies that's perfect for people who think that "Se7en" was an awesome date movie. And if you're one of those people, I need to take this opportunity to IMPLORE you to get help. NOW.
"Oh man! Pee-YOO! What have you been DOING in here, dude?"
It starts off with one of the most disturbing images I've seen in a while. Okay…not RIGHT at the beginning. At the beginning of the movie, the entire screen is basically shrouded in darkness. There's a guy named Adam (Whannell) who seems to be scrambling around, chained to something, not knowing where he is. And believe me, folks, that's terrifying enough. If I had a nickel for every time I've woken up in the dark, with no idea where I am or how I got there, I wouldn't need to freelance. (Alcohol was usually a factor…but you probably already guessed that.)
Finally, he hears a voice from inside the room…and it's the raspy voice of Dr. Lawrence Gordon (Elwes), telling him basically to calm the fuck down. To get back to my earlier example, if I had ANOTHER nickel for every time the first voice I heard was male, telling me to calm down, well, let's just say I'd be a third richer than I was before. A quarter richer if it's just the times that the voice belonged to Cary Elwes.
"Must reach phone...must call lawyer...MUST...SUE...NAKED...CRITIC!!"
Finally, Gordon manages to hit the lights, and WHAMMO…the most disturbing image I've seen in a while. They're in a bathroom somewhere. A filthy, disgusting, right-out-of-Trainspotting bathroom. It's complete with grime, and mildew, and other substances smeared all over the place. And perfectly complimenting the décor is the perfectly-placed-for-Feng-Shui corpse of some guy who's blown his brains out. This shocked the ever-loving pants off me, because other than the corpse, it looks exactly like MY bathroom. And I was pretty damn sure that I'd never had Kurt Cobain over to my house, so how the corpse got there is ANYONE'S guess.
And now, as if this isn't messed up enough, this is where the REAL mind-fuckery comes into play. (I love the word "fuckery", even though it isn't a word.) The corpse has a gun in one hand, and a small tape recorder in another. Both Gordon and Adam have tapes in their pockets. When they manage to get these tapes to play, a freaky voice informs Gordon that he's holding his wife and kid hostage, and that he's going to kill them at 6 pm that day…unless he kills Adam first. This leads to a series of Good News / Bad News situations.
I wake up next to the toilet like this a lot. I'm not PROUD of it, I'm just sayin' is all...
Good
news: this Mystery Voice has also given Gordon a bullet.
Bad news: Gordon can't reach the gun because he's chained up.
Good news: Mystery Voice HAS left them something else…hacksaws.
Bad news: The saws won't cut through their chains. But WILL cut through
their LEGS…
Ewwww.
And here's where the bizarre coincidences start. This appears to be the work of the "Jigsaw Killer" who has been on the loose for quite some time. Oddly enough, Gordon was actually a suspect in the killings for quite some time. The cops investigating the case, Detectives Tapp and Sing (Danny Glover and Ken Leung) found a penlight of Gordon's at the scene of a particularly heinous crime scene.
And these crimes are HEINOUS, kids. Make no mistake. The crimes we see in flashback are a nasty look at what Marilyn Manson's nightmares must look like. I won't ruin it for you, but it's akin to torture…and it's very, VERY reminiscent of "Se7en" in a lot of ways.
Maybe THIS will keep people from yapping all the way through the movie.
In fact, it may be a little TOO reminiscent of "Se7en". I have a feeling that Whannell and co-writer and director James Wan must have either sat through it about a billion times, or at least stolen some of the original storyboards. I suppose it could be considered an "homage"…but in the same way that "Barb Wire" can be considered an "homage" to "Casablanca."
But despite the obvious similarities, "Saw" has some originality as well. I liked the general plot - about strangers waking up in a strange situation that try and figure out what's going on. In fact, I liked it even more when it was called "Cube". For those of you keeping track, that's "homage" number 2.
Where "Saw" really does work though is in its sense of dread. Some of the grisliest things in the movie don't actually happen on screen…a lot of the horrific images are ones that your imagination creates, based on what they show you. It's a very impressive feat of mind-fuckery (wheeee!) that is quite effective.
Boy, Spider Man has been in a REALLY bitchy mood lately.
Also working in its favour are some very good performances. Elwes really anchors the piece with a strong portrayal of a guy who really starts coming apart at the seams. And Whannell, who hasn't done a lot, manages to match his intensity a lot of the time. They aren't Oscar-worthy performances, but they work well for what they need to do. Glover, on the other hand, is VERY good, especially considering the fact that you'd never expect him to come within a mile of this movie.
But he's a supporting player in the Gordon and Adam show, and I really admired how much of the movie took place in the same nasty bathroom. The majority of it actually seems more like a play than a movie. Of course, it's a play set in a filthy, disgusting bathroom covered in bacteria and other unmentionable substances. So, you know, it would be off-Broadway.
But one thing bothers me, and I just HAVE to get it off my chest. This "Jigsaw Killer" has the same modus operandi for every crime: the victim finds out what they have to do by playing a tape on a little Dictaphone. The cops are stymied…but WHY? All they have to do is canvass the local Radio Shacks and find out who's buying out all their Dictaphones. They take your address when you BUY BATTERIES, for chrissake. They're BOUND to know about a squirrelly, serial-killer-type dude who keeps coming in for Dictaphones and mini-tapes.
"Damn...why didn't I think of that?'
Fine, fine, I'm being nitpicky. But why DO they take your address when you buy batteries? That's still pretty fucked up. When it comes time for me to go on MY serial-killing rampage, it'll be Best Buy all the way.
Overall, I still liked it, despite the liberal use of style and plot points from other movies. It's creepy enough, well acted, and has a great ending that makes up for the slow pacing in the middle of the film.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I think it's about time I REALLY made an effort to clean this damn bathroom.
