Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Starring: Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet
Directed by: Michael Gondry
Rating: 4.5 (out of 5)
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"Memory...all alone in the moonlight...I can smile at the old days...I was beautiful then...remember the time I knew what happiness was...Let the memory live again"
Y'know...back when I started this dopey little column of mine, I swore that I would never quote Andrew Lloyd Webber. I mean...EVER. Now I might just have to turn in my penis to the local "manhood" office with a written apology.
But the above lyric is strangely appropriate. And it's also why it's taken me several days to complete this review...see, this movie is all about memories. Good ones and bad ones. And it just hammers home something we all take for granted. Memories, positive and negative, are precious, and something we should ALWAYS hold on to, no matter what. They can make us stronger, BETTER people.
Good God...I sound like a fucking Dr. Phil book. Let's just get to the review.
As the movie opens, we meet Joel (Carrey). He kind of looks dishevelled, but harmless. One morning, instead of going to work, he gets on a commuter train headed for the beach instead. That's where he meets the improbably named Clementine (Winslet). There's an immediate connection...they both know it.
"No, as a matter of fact it ISN'T my natural color! Is it noticeable?"
Then, in the first of roughly 50 billion time-line shifts, we find out that Joel and Clementine aren't together anymore. It's been a bitter and acrimonious break-up...a situation that, quite frankly, I've been in more times than I like to admit.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but Clementine has taken that to the next level. Joel finds out through mutual friends that she's had this wacky procedure done that would erase him from her memory permanently.
An aside: I know this is just a movie, but this strikes me as a potentially fatal thing to do. I mean, think about it: Let's say you're dating someone...you go out for dinner - Thai food, perhaps - and order the cashew chicken. You go into anaphylactic shock because you've suddenly developed a serious nut allergy. Sure, you survive, but you can never have nuts again. You break up with this person, they erase all memory of him or her, INCLUDING the nut-allergy thing, you leave the office, and think to yourself "Hey...an Almond Joy bar would be good right now." BLAMMO! You're pushing up the daisies, ALL BECAUSE you erased an important memory by accident!
Hey...it could happen.
"As your doctor, I have to strongly advise against your making ' The Majestic 2.' "
Whatever...Joel goes to the clinic to set up an appointment with the vaguely creepy Doctor (Tom Wilkinson). He tells Joel to gather up anything he can that's connected to Clementine. This way, they can dispose of it without having any inadvertent reminders of her around that he couldn't explain. This makes a lot of sense, actually. Not only could these things mess with his head, but if he found a pair of her panties in his drawer, but didn't know who they belonged to, he could wind up making a rather inadvertent lifestyle choice. And THAT'S a story I know all too well, 'cause this one time...nevermind.
So the technicians come to his apartment one night to perform the "procedure" while he's sleeping. The technicians are Stan (Mark Ruffalo) and Patrick (Elijah Wood). These guys have the best job in the world. They get to drink, smoke up, and bang hot receptionists (Kirsten Dunst) on the job without anyone ever knowing. Screw Day Job...I want a job like that. Right now, I only get to drink...and even THAT I have to do on the sly. What a bunch of tyrants I work for.
Well, as Joel is mid-procedure, he realizes something...he loves his memories of Clementine. Despite their nasty break-up, deep down inside he loves her. And he wants all the memories...good or bad. So, while they're fricasseeing his grey matter, he has to take matters into his own hands and hide his memories away from them before they get deleted.
Pretty trippy stuff, eh?
"Dammit, honey...you always keep the bedroom so COLD!"
So, it should come as no surprise that this mind-fuck of a movie was brought to you by the word processor of Charlie Kaufman. For those 8 people out there who don't happen to have an encyclopaedic knowledge of screenwriters, he's also the guy who wrote the mind-fucks "Being John Malkovich" and "Adaptation". This guy is the smartest screenwriter in the world right now. So, as a writer myself, I both idolize him (for his genius) and despise him (out of pure jealousy) at the same time.
Director Gondry, meanwhile, is pretty well-versed in messing with heads himself. He's best known as an innovative music video director who, among other things, has directed almost every one of Bjork's videos. So, for him to be able to work with her and figure HER out, you've got to know that he's got a twisted mind himself.
I just wish someone would buy the man a fucking tripod.
I'm not kidding here. I mean, YES, he's a great director. And YES, he took some very challenging, intelligent material and brought it to life in an exciting manner. And YES, he's coaxed fantastic performances from his stars, notably Carrey. But he's gone and shot the damn thing using so many shaky, handheld camera shots that it's frustrating. It's like watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Blair Witch's Mind".
But the movie is so utterly brilliant, and moving, and intelligent, that becomes a minor distraction.
"As your boyfriend, I have to advise against your making 'Titanic 2' "
I mentioned Carrey earlier. This could be his lowest-grossing movie ever. Why? Because he gives a subtle, intelligent performance. It's the best of his career, and proves that he could be a truly gifted actor. Not gifted COMIC, mind you...gifted ACTOR. It's not that he's not funny here, because he is, when the script allows for it. But Joel has a real dark side as well.
If you saw "The Majestic", then you saw Carrey doing the whole "acting serious" thing. And it wasn't his best work. But there are some laugh-free scenes in THIS movie, especially the break-up scene, which are truly ugly. But in the lighter moments he shines as well. I truly believed him, whether he was being funny, hurt, scared, or downright angry. If this movie was a December release, Carrey would honestly be a lock for a nomination. And worst-case scenario, he never has to subject the world to another "Ace Ventura" movie after this, so that's nice as well.
Kate Winslet is great too, but the difference is she's ALWAYS been great. But Clementine is a fun, quirky, impulsive character that really lights up the screen. She sports roughly 8 billion different extreme hair-colors in this movie, but they work. Sorry, let me rephrase...they don't work on Winslet, but they work on Clementine. Again, I believed this character.
Hell, even Kirsten Dunst was good, and that's saying something. Okay, okay, I know she's hot and all, but she's never been my favorite actress, and I honestly believe that she could be dumber than Jessica Simpson after a lobotomy. True story...a few years ago, when she was younger, she was a contestant on Celebrity Jeopardy. The "answer" was something along the lines of "This New Orleans-based author is best known for vampire novels, such as 'Interview With A Vampire'". You may recall Dunst's breakthrough performance was IN "Interview With A Vampire". Yet she didn't know the answer. I honestly believe that the "Celebrity Jeopardy" sketches on Saturday Night Live grew out of that one, single idiotic moment. The girl's 10 IQ points away from being cabbage...but she was good here.
"Can't you guys watch 'Family Feud' or something instead?"
But the reason the movie works most of all is Kaufman's brilliant story. No matter WHO you are, you'll identify with this.
I've been through some shit in my day. But after watching this movie, I realized something: no matter how ugly the memory, I'd never erase a single one. Well, there was that one time when I popped a stiffie in front of my entire 9th grade Drama class. That one I'd get rid of. But relationship-wise, there's not a single one.
When it comes to memories, I'd much rather keep the bad ones, if only so I could remember the good ones. Because nothing beats a good memory. If nothing else, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" teaches us that. It's something we should all take a little less for granted. I know I will from now on.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go publish these meandering ruminations and knock that Dr. Phil asshole off the best-seller lists.